Dating a guy no chemistry
A number of the guys took time to warm up and really show their true colours.In fact, I wanted to walk away from my ex-boyfriend after just 30 minutes during our first date, only to end up sticking around for another six hours and date him for over a year!So those are two reasons — lack of a basic personal and physical chemistry — that you should break up with a perfectly nice person. Relevant story: I was with my wife for nearly 2 years when we got married. I’d survived happily for 36 years without her; I would have been able to put things back together in due time.4 years and 2 kids later, my love for my wife is so much deeper and meaningful. That passion most couples feel for the first 18 months? Reality is when the passion fades and you start building a life together. Since you seem pretty ambivalent about him and you’re pretty young, it seems to me you have your answer. As much as I stress comfort, some marriages should never happen at all. I only hope you can experience this feeling as well; but it starts with finding someone whose company you really enjoy, not someone whose company you merely tolerate.Yet there’s one big reason to keep a guy you’re not obsessed with: Your expectations of chemistry are way off. If she sadly left me at the altar, I’d be devastated, but I would have recovered. Frankly, I have trouble surviving a few days without her. It’s far better to be single than to be in a dissatisfying relationship. My 62-year-old mom married a man who was kind and generous to the core, but she wasn’t attracted to him, didn’t respect him, and didn’t laugh with him. I hope this clarifies — for all of you — what you should and should not experience with a romantic partner: a basic level of personal and physical chemistry, a realistic view on that person’s strengths and weaknesses, and a belief that although you’ve been more wildly attracted to other people before, you’ve never had a better relationship in your entire life. This is a great post that clarifies an issue that I had also wondered about.Chemistry is never guaranteed, no matter how great someone seems over messages and emails, or how hot they look in their photos.
Chemistry allows us to sweep under the rug the fact that he’s a selfish asshole or that she’s a crazy bitch…and later justify this behavior and fight to stay in broken relationships that make us unhappy.
I just feel like everything in your blog tells me to keep seeing this guy. Because part of me wants to give it time knowing he’s a good one, and part of me says if all I can say in this email is that he’s “great” but I can’t talk about how I actually feel about him…what’s the point?
From what I am reading in your blog, I’m supposed to be happy with this guy. But I feel like I should look forward to seeing him more. Like the idea of him is better than the actual person. I should point out that I’m young (25) and attractive.
So, what about the times when chemistry just doesn’t develop?
Well, personally, I still don’t think you should cut the date short.