Asking question for dating
” but put your own spin on the same sentiment.)I ask this one if someone does something straight-up obnoxious and rude or otherwise unaware.
You can also phrase this one as, “how do you feel about [insert your ethical deal breaker here]?
That said, I’ve learned that I almost always end up regretting it if I don’t pose this question until right before I’m about to have sex with someone (or worse, if I don’t ask at all).
Not only does their answer tell you their STI status, but how they react to the question will show you if they’re comfortable being an adult about sex, how honest they seem, and to what degree they prioritize safety and health.
Everyone is dating around, and the earlier you find out how deep in they are with other people, the less you’re going to have to worry that you seem like you’re trying to have “the talk.” You just want to know the situation, and to gauge whether this person is emotionally mature enough to be upfront with you.
This is a question I never asked before I found myself in a non-monogamous relationship, but even if I one day date monogamously again, I’ll continue to ask it.
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This is one many of us want to ask but don’t because we don’t want to “ruin things.” Take a minute to examine that logic: if you ruin things simply by asking a direct question about something so fundamental, is that relationship really worth your time?