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And when I consulted the leading textbooks on sexuality, none of them said that women had a generally milder desire for sex than men.

The task was considerable, and I at least was nagged by the fear that this point was so obvious that no one would want to publish our research.

One colleague heard we were reviewing the literature to see whether men wanted sex more than women, and she commented acidly, "Of course they do. " Well, everybody, apparently, except the expert researchers on sexuality and authors of textbooks. So we approached the problem like this: Imagine two women (or two men for that matter), such that one of them has truly a stronger sex drive than the other.

Ever woken up horrified after an intense sex dream involving someone you hate in real life? Which is why I asked Refinery29 readers to send me the sex dreams that still keep them up at night — so I could speak to a dream interpreter and find out what's really going on.

Before we get into the dreams themselves, it’s worth mentioning that there’s still a lot we don’t know about dreams.

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In one camp, we have experts claiming that they are nothing more than images randomly spat out at you for eight hours; that REM, the stage of sleep where you’re most likely to dream, runs off the ebb and flow of neurotransmitters, and that dreams are just the brain’s way of dealing with these random firings.

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